Right now, this moment, I feel like doing exactly what Elizabeth Gilbert does at the beginning of "Eat Pray Love" : breakdown on the bathroom floor. And the same question resonates in my head "How did I end up here?"
I've known myself for quite some time now having spent almost 18 years with myself. And of all the people I've met, I've been the hardest for me to understand. I feel like I have a third person view of myself at times, looking from another dimension and thinking "Is this what I am? And what exactly am I?"
The questions are endless. But I seem to be facing a blind alley when I look for the answers.
What exactly are we? What the society thinks of us? What people who matter to us think of us? Or what we think of ourselves? And in what way are we supposed to think of ourselves?
And for me the question that seems to be nibbling at my mind is "Are my opinions of certain things influenced by the opinions of people who matter to me?"
My view is mine and I stand by what I believe in, but am I too flexible in some situations? And is that bad?
"Being in two minds" is what I seem to be experiencing now. There's one part of my mind that wants to throw out a certain element and there's the other where that element is firmly lodged and is hard for me to throw out. If there's a solution to this, I'm yet to find it.
On lookout for a sign.
I've known myself for quite some time now having spent almost 18 years with myself. And of all the people I've met, I've been the hardest for me to understand. I feel like I have a third person view of myself at times, looking from another dimension and thinking "Is this what I am? And what exactly am I?"
The questions are endless. But I seem to be facing a blind alley when I look for the answers.
What exactly are we? What the society thinks of us? What people who matter to us think of us? Or what we think of ourselves? And in what way are we supposed to think of ourselves?
And for me the question that seems to be nibbling at my mind is "Are my opinions of certain things influenced by the opinions of people who matter to me?"
My view is mine and I stand by what I believe in, but am I too flexible in some situations? And is that bad?
"Being in two minds" is what I seem to be experiencing now. There's one part of my mind that wants to throw out a certain element and there's the other where that element is firmly lodged and is hard for me to throw out. If there's a solution to this, I'm yet to find it.
On lookout for a sign.
Okay -_-
ReplyDeleteYou are officially the better writer.
The beginning knocked my socks off.
I was confused, depressed and messed up and beautiful writing was the last thing on my mind. But I'm glad it turned out good :)
Delete